Holidays

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So I promise this isn't an excuse. I mean...if you asked me for an excuse this would be it....but I'm not writing this for that purpose...

Holidays. It seems that every year from October 31 to January 31 business and hurry go off the charts. Every Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday is filled to the brim with activities. We drive more miles than we have all year and we spend more money that we ever planned on spending.  And in all of it the feeling of "festivity" is brazenly absent. As if the feeling of festivity wasn't aware that we were only this busy in order to obtain a bit of his mirth.

Anyway, the business....It's exhausting I think. And I wonder at times if that's why adults hate holidays so much. Of course, they would never say it (or would they?) but the general attitude would come off to a bystander as "ugh".

We went to the festival of lights parade a while back...after  a rushed day with far too many things in it and far too few seconds to breath. And it was the first time that entire day that we stopped and just stood there. We danced with E to sleigh bells. We laughed when she launched herself to the miniature ponies, trying desperately to touch one. But for the most part we just stood there. 

At first, I admit, I was disappointed. She just stared straight a head, face completely neutral. I expected laughter and amazement and wide eyes and shock. But none of that came out of her.
But over the course of the night I came to notice some things I hadn't looked for that were far more significant. She hummed, sometimes very quietly. She was constantly looking around taking things in, other faces, moving floats. Everything. And by the end of the night I realized that she wasn't bored or apathetic or anything like that. She was very happy actually. Just peacefully so.

And it got me thinking...maybe I try to hard to amp up the wow factor of my holidays. Maybe that's why I don't enjoy them as much. Maybe the feeling of festivity is something that comes when you quietly stare at the lights, take in the people around you enjoying them with you, hum to yourself and just be at peace.

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